Fun times in customer service

As many of you know, I work at a vitamin supply company as a wholesale account rep. Occasionally, I take overflow calls from the retail side of the company. Generally speaking, the people I deal with are well-educated business owners that are easy to understand, and professional in their dealings.

This customer, though, was a wildly different story. The phone call went something like this.

Customer- Did you get my return package?

(Because I can always tell exactly who the customer is by the sound of their sweet, melodious voice over the IP phone...)

Me- Well, let me pull up your account first, and then I will be more than happy to tell you.

Customer- See, I got this letter here from a woman named Shannon, and she said that she isn't really sure what to do with the package, and I realized I sent the wrong one. So, I sent another one, the right one, to you, so you can get it back.

Me- Ok, do you have your customer ID number?

Customer- Says here it is xxxx-xxxx.

(I pull up his account and check his notes. Shannon said that he shipped back an 8 volt battery and a charger, from two different companies)

Me- Ok... so... it looks like you sent back a battery and a charger, am I correct?

Customer- Yes, I would like a refund for my weed whacker, it doesn't work at all.

(stunned silence, muffled laughter... it's not going to work very well when you don't have a battery and the charger, of course, but no company would give you a refund for a whole product when you only ship back 10% of it)

Me- I show here that the only product you have purchased from us is our Awesome Product #1. We are a vitamin supply company, we have nothing to do whatsoever with electronics...

Customer- But the box said it was your address to send things back to. I want my refund.

Me- Which box was that?

Customer- The box that came in the mail.

Me- Are you sure you picked the right box for the product you sent to us?

Customer- Yes, I am quite sure. I would like my refund now.

(After about 5 minutes, he realizes that we are not, in fact, an electronics company)

We eventually made a deal with him to send back the packages to him at his expense, once we received the next package. But it sure was awesome to open up a box marked "Return" and see a battery, a charger, and various other items having nothing to do with our company!